God is starting something through me and I am finding my life at an incredible crossroads. I am hoping that there will be other sisters that join me as I step. He is drawing me in and even though my heart is in chaos there is a greater Peace standing valiantly before me. The Lord is asking me to just breathe out and to surrender with hands and a life opened up wide for Him. I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around this new concept from God because He is starting a work at a time when quite honestly, from my limited human understanding, I'm at my lowest. I've never felt more alone, more rejected, more sensitive, more vulnerable and more chaotic in my life.
For years the circumstances surrounding the pulse of my heart have tested me, pushed me, pulled me, stretched me, tear soaked my cheeks, messed up my heart, shaken up my soul and convinced me I'm not even worth looking at. At this point in my life God is asking me to share those experiences as well as how Christ is gaining the victory more and more everyday...because there is great Victory! "As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God." 1 Peter 4:10 Don't get me wrong I surrendered my life to Christ over 22 years ago and have been walking with Him ever since, but in recent years the King has been calling me to walk a very unfamiliar road with Him…..and it's intimidating because I can't seem to get past…well, me.
But that's just "ME" talking. That's the "ME" that beats myself up all day for what I'm not. I sling stones at my own heart in places that I, the overwhelming "ME", have messed up and missed the mark again with myself, my husband, my kids, my friends, at work, or with family…..basically my life.
Ever been there?
Found yourself at a crossroads in life where God is ready to do a work in and through you, but you feel like all you are is a train wreck just waiting to happen. As you approach the crossroads you pause at first and are captivated by the thought of God lavishly loving you and you take a step towards that road, but then something creeps inside and reminds you that you're too messed up or you've walked too far in the other direction for God to want to spend time with you. Who are you fooling to think that road was meant for you?! You claim defeat before you even experience one play in the game.
Maybe it's your own voice, maybe it's the voice of a friend, a family member, a co-worker, maybe it's coming from someone that you thought you could trust or maybe it's the voice of your circumstances, your past, your present or the paralyzing fear of your future. Or what about the deafening voice of defeat coming from within your own frame as you walk. Regardless of what shape or form that voice takes, it's the voice of the Deceiver and if you're not careful you can entertain those thoughts and that voice for too long and before you know it you've given him more space and comfort in the home of your heart than he deserves.
Because if you listen long enough you'll stop walking and you'll turnaround from the road towards Life that you have been slowly walking towards. You'll convince yourself that you gotta clean up your life before you could ever make a bold step to pursue Christ. You'll talk yourself away from the path of Life and decide that there are plenty of other, smarter daughters out there to walk that road, besides there are already enough voices for Christ in this world. How could he ever use a weak and weary vessel like you to carry hope to the lost, to the hurting, and to the lonely, doesn't He realize that actually describes YOU. You drop your shoulders, your steps slow way down as you turn back to doing life as you've always done it. You're sad, but you think yourself foolish for wanting more out of life, more out of the Creator of the Universe. You agree with the voice of deception and you walk away.
I'm here to tell you that God's thinking it's about time to re-evaluate who you really are. It's time to heal up that broken heart and mend that torn up spirit. It's time to open the eyes of your heart to see what the Father, the King, really sees.
"The King's daughter is all glorious within!" Psalms 45:13
Because what He sees is a beauty worth lavishing with the life of His Son. He sees a creative genius just waiting to be expressed. He sees beautifully worn out hands and feet that are anxiously awaiting an opportunity to carry a cup of Life offering Refreshment to the broken hearted. He sees tenderness for people placed in a heart that at its weakest, most submissive, most vulnerable place is actually quiet radiant. He sees His daughter becoming all glorious within.
Are you there?
Glorious Daughters isn't for the daughter that thinks she's got it all figured out. It's for the daughter that's weak, wounded, lost and feels like her heart's been left to die in the middle of nowhere alone and afraid. Glorious Daughters is for the daughter that on the deep inside of her being doesn't feel like she's even worth the time of day. She might put on the "face" and function in the world just fine, but in the darkest quietest parts of her heart she is crying out for healing. That is exactly who Jesus came to save, to love and to pour out His life to remind her that she is His most beautiful creation and worth everything to Him.
How do I know you ask? Because as my car idled in the Wal-Mart parking lot in the snowy early morning hours of a cold January Saturday I sat in the driver's seat broken and weeping. After years of feeling weak, wounded by life, lost, rejected, insignificant, given-out, unbeautiful, and like I had made a complete mess of my life and every relationship I had ever developed God drew me to His side. He gently shut my mouth and started over from the beginning re-teaching me who I really am.
Will you start over with me? Will you walk a road to healing your heart, your mind, your soul and your thoughts on your King? Be brave sweet sister, I know it's hard to relinquish control to what you cannot see – I'm walking that exact road right this very minute. But I promise He'll be there and He is just waiting to lavish His glorious daughter with extravagant love.
Let's walk to the Throne Room together!
Dear Beloved Father, please heal every wrong concept of the King that we have. Every destructive thought or whisper that we have believed we ask grace and mercy to wash over our desperately sick interpretation of Christ and the events of our lives. In the Name of Jesus show us why we are here and how you really see us, as beautiful daughters becoming all glorious within. Regardless of what we've done or believed we pray that you would open the windows of Heaven to bring right perspective to our hearts and wisdom to the revelation of authentic Beauty. In Jesus Mighty Name we pray, Amen.Love from your sister who's walking with you,